PCT: «What’s your» why? – The walk

THE QUESTION:

I have often wondered what drives one to simply intentionally walk 2,650 miles. Consciously leaving the comfort and security of ordinary life to voluntarily go against the grain. Leaving behind families and careers, in blatant defiance of the social expectations that shout at us daily what “we should be doing!” From the outside perspective of those who prefer a more predictable path, this decision to rebelliously swim against the current can, understandably, be perceived as an act of “reckless abandonment.” What a person may see as an impulsive, irresponsible plunge into the unknown to the person doing it could actually be an act of carefully planned intention, a turn toward something that pushes them toward the deepest level of their humanity. An inevitable propulsion toward a deeply felt purpose. Where the cost of staying in a routine of comfort and predictability is far greater than the cost of not answering the call of this effort. It is not the risk of failure but the cost of not trying. Perhaps this judgment of “recklessness” is not reckless at all, but rather an external conviction to live truly authentically without fear of external criticism for not subscribing to conventional living. Perhaps it is a form of inner alignment rather than rebellion. As I wander further down the rabbit hole of curiosity and ask again. What drives someone to take the leap? What lives at the epicenter of your willingness to walk a path that seems fundamentally simple and yet immensely challenging? What is the driving force behind this huge radical five-month decision and furthermore why is it important?

WHY THE QUESTION MATTERS:

As an emergency room nurse, I have been at ground zero for countless life-altering or life-ending moments. In my opinion, being present in those human experiences can only be described as terrifying, yet wonderfully traumatic. Holding space at the exact moment to witness the last breath of a human soul is a privilege of deep humility. Each one of them that I have experienced has left a mark on my heart that I will carry with me until my last breath. I have seen many faces of death and many faces of life. Sometimes it gets easier, but above all it leaves a small fragment of its story in my soul. As the years go by, it begins to require the development of certain emotional skills. A compartmentalization to allow you to do your work and be able to continue living once your 12 hours have passed. Having such early exposure to the fragility of life has given me a perspective that I believe few people are able to fully understand until later in life and, sadly, some never do. For me, it is an acute sense of need to live fully in the moment, without the weight of fear, along with an intimate understanding of the delicacy of this one life we ​​have been given. It is the quintessential meaning of the cliché «YOLO». When that day comes. When YOUR day comes, will you look the end in the eye with confidence knowing that you have done everything you came to this earth to accomplish?

So what does this have to do with walking 2,650 miles from Mexico to Canada? I’m getting there…

In my professional life, I frequently ask my older patients what they regret or what they would do differently. I have always been captivated by people’s stories, fascinated by the unique journey that led them to the exact moment our paths crossed in my emergency room. Not everyone I treat is on their deathbed, but their bodies are failing and no amount of money, prestige, or praise can restore their health. «The problem with time is that we think we have it.» I was resupplying in a town called Quincy while doing a section of the PCT in 2023 and reading on the bathroom wall.

That same intense curiosity I ask my older patients drives me as I contemplate the most critical question for anyone undertaking an endurance challenge of this scale: What is your WHY? The inherent importance of this simple question is too often overlooked and underestimated. My answer to this question is what will force me to continue putting one foot in front of the other when excitement loses its shine, when I feel the pressure in my heart from missing my family, when my body aches, and when the elements test my limits in a way I have never experienced before. It’s what will keep me focused when I feel the pressure to return to the life I left behind in the effort to achieve an unfathomable goal. I truly believe that if I can remember MY WHY, I know with every fiber of my being that I can achieve it.

So you ask yourself what is it? MY WHY?
For me, the challenge of walking from Mexico to Canada is the adventure of a lifetime. The excitement of the unknown, the test of mental strength, the physical challenge of conquering mountains and deserts, the simplicity of carrying everything I need on my back, the lifelong friends that I have yet to meet. My “why” is simple, possibly anticlimactic, but hopefully refreshingly honest. I’m hiking the entire Pacific Crest Trail, from the Mexican border in Campo to the rugged wilderness of Canada, simply because I CAN! It is not an escape from my current life, nor a pilgrimage toward self-discovery, nor a dramatic attempt to repair past wounds or seek justice for old injustices. And it’s certainly not because of the need to prove anything to anyone! At 50, it is, at its core, a recognition and celebration of the sheer privilege I possess: the privilege of a healthy, capable body and a living situation that affords me the time and freedom to undertake such a challenge.

To be clear, I am well aware of the undeniable side benefits of this extraordinary achievement. Is there an immense sense of personal pride that will come with the final step? Absolutely. Is this trip a daunting multi-month athletic endurance event that will test all the limits of my physical and mental strength? Definitely. But they are simply welcome byproducts; They are NOT, and never will be, the central and fundamental reason that drives me forward every morning.

This journey is, in essence, as I said, the definitive adventure of your life: a self-imposed quest into the sublime unknown. I find myself irresistibly drawn to the thrill of what lies ahead, the thrill of navigating uncharted territories with only a map and a compass, and the immeasurable mental and physical challenge that comes with conquering thousand-foot mountain passes, traversing desolate high-desert landscapes, and enduring unpredictable weather. YEAH!

So as I prepare to hit the pause button on my life as I know it and wander to the southern tip of Campo, California. I challenge my fellow hikers, dreamers, and adventure seekers to dig deeper, search their own souls, and answer the question. In the words of poet Mary Oliver said it best. «Tell me, what do you plan to do with your one precious life?»
THAT. HIS. BECAUSE?

This website contains affiliate links, which means The Trek may receive a percentage of any products or services you purchase using links in articles or advertisements. The buyer pays the same price they would otherwise pay, and their purchase helps support The Trek’s ongoing goal of bringing you quality backpacking information and advice. Thank you for your support!

For more information, visit the About page of this site.