To pop the squat or not, that’s the question

A good friend recently told me that while she’s interested in hearing all about my adventures on the AT, she’d really love to know all the weird little things hikers/backpackers think about before and during trips. And I’m not going to lie, I’ve done some strange Google searches over the past few months to decide certain things I never thought I’d be thinking about.

TW: People who have penises, feel free to skip points 1-4

1. Go to the bathroom (as a person who has a vagina): Kids have it too easy in this department, unless they’re pooping and then we’re in the same boat. It’s not fair and it never will be fair, so we have to get over it and do the best we can with what we have. But let me tell you, “squatting” is a learned skill that I still haven’t mastered after all these years of peeing in the woods. It’s very uncomfortable and I’ve definitely peed on myself a few times (I know I’m not alone in this). I tried one of those «she-wee» things on a backpacking trip about two years ago and failed miserably. I told myself I would practice in the shower (obviously cleaning it up afterwards), but that hasn’t happened and probably won’t happen since I’m just over a week away from leaving. Personally, I love a toilet. When I see a toilet in a shelter I feel very happy! There’s nothing better than being able to pee in the morning on a real toilet seat. That being said, I hope to be a pro at doing squats when I get to Maine.

2. Underwear (as a person who has a vagina): This has never been a question or problem on any backpacking trip so far. The longest hike I ever did was 5 days with my friends and I learned that wearing underwear on a hike is optional. I’ve used light flow menstrual panties in the past and tried wool underwear, but both are only good for 1 day and can smell pretty bad after a full day of backpacking. So what did I decide to do for my hike? Yes, I’m following my friend’s example and going commando. He also said he used wipes every time he went to the bathroom to keep things clean and I plan to do that too. I know this sounds gross, but having to carry 5 pairs of underwear that will end up stinking when you get into town to do laundry sounds so much worse.

3. Periods: Yes, I got my period while backpacking and it’s definitely not fun. And, as you just read, I’m planning on becoming a commando, so I’ve obviously thought about this topic. Luckily, I have a hormonal IUD right now and my periods are pretty light. I count losing them completely with the amount of exercise I will do (it has happened before and is common among athletes who menstruate). For those who will have prolonged periods, there is always menstrual cups as an environmentally friendly option. And, for all the people (mostly men) who love to tell us that bears are attracted to the smell of our periods and other vagina aromas, please stfu.

4. makeup: I know this sounds silly, but I’m very conscious of my eyelashes. I am redhead. I have blonde eyelashes and eyebrows and most of the hair on my body is blonde. Honestly, I don’t care much about my eyebrows, although I do use an eyebrow pencil when I’m feeling fancy. My daily makeup regimen is very basic: moisturizer with sunscreen and retinol, mascara, lipstick and sunscreen if necessary. Yesterday I was chatting with a fellow redhead and, after all these years, I discovered that I can actually dye my eyelashes. Game changer! I can also dye my eyebrows, but when I went to make an appointment, I was only able to get one for my eyelashes before I leave for a trip next Friday. C’est la vie, it’s pretty good and I’m really excited! With all that said, I plan to bring my moisturizer, mascara, lipstick, and lip balm. I may send some back or leave them when I get to Roanoke, or I may not.

5. Used toilet paper: Leave No Trace rules dictate packaging used toilet paper. It may sound gross, and it is, but those are the rules and Mother Nature and your fellow hikers appreciate it. Take a bag into the woods or to the loo and hope you don’t need too much (wet wipes are useful for this reason). I’ve heard about the Kula fabric and thought about getting one, but I think I’ll see how I feel on the trail and do a survey of hikers before I commit.

6. Showers: Embrace the gross! Off the court, I usually shower every morning or after working out. I haven’t used deodorant in over a decade and it’s never been a problem. On the road I will still not use deodorant, but I know I will smell because it is impossible not to. It is what it is. Also, again, wet wipes and a minor PTA at the end of the day is a big help. Fellow backpackers can’t really smell you and I freshen up a bit by the time I get to an out-of-trail bathroom until I can fully shower and do laundry so as not to force non-hikers to endure all the stench. I know it sounds absolutely crazy and unpleasant for non-backpackers, but it’s too exhausting to worry about the bad smell. The important part of hygiene is keeping the parts decently clean (no one wants a bacterial infection along the way). As far as hair hygiene goes, I think French braids will be my best friend to keep it from getting too unsightly. I’ll be bringing Dr. Bronner’s All-Purpose Tea Tree Oil Soap, but I plan on not washing my hair until I can take a full shower. If it gets worse over the summer, I’ll re-evaluate, which is pretty much my answer to most things for AT. I just found out there are some showers along the AT at the shelters and I’m a little excited to try them out.

7. Medications: As someone who requires daily medication, this is something I’ve thought about A LOT. I ordered a few small daily medication pouches and have two weeks organized into a larger medication pouch that includes vitamins/supplements, nasal decongestants, ibuprofen, UTI pain relief (hopefully it won’t be necessary, but a blessing if it is), and cold and flu medications. Since my prescriptions are for 90 days, I was planning on taking 2 months’ worth on the road and refilling once I got to Roanoke (home). However, the recommended vitamins/supplements I’m taking (magnesium and potassium) are huge and there’s no way I’m carrying 60 doses in my backpack. Luckily, I have friends in Tennessee halfway between Springer Mountain and Roanoke, so I’ll mail myself a resupply. Unfortunately, one of my daily medications is a controlled substance (ADHD stimulant) and I can only take it for 30 days straight without refills. Running out of those meds will make life a little more difficult, but I’m counting on not needing them much along the way and being able to refill them as I get through North Carolina all the way to Maryland (very grateful that my new psychiatrist is licensed in 2 states). As for the rest of the journey, I’ll be relying on my amazing resupply-supporting friends to send me some mini packs of vitamins, supplements, and medications.

Some people probably find it strange that I write about such personal and private matters, but hey, I’m hiking the Appalachian Trail, the strange is already implied. Especially the first 4 items on the list, they are topics that are not talked about enough. In my searches, I couldn’t find anything about underwear and I doubt anyone would want to admit they thought about wearing makeup on the road. I found a reddit about medications and backpackers love to joke about the principles of being gross and leaving no trace. But God forbid we talk openly about vagina-related issues!

I’m sure there are other weird little things that hikers and backpackers think about. Share in the comments any issues you’ve had questions about or thought about during your travels!

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