Things I hope to learn from the OT – part 1

For me, the AT is more than the hiking part. Taking half a year of my life to undertake this adventure will not only give me the opportunity to explore the path, but also develop new facets of myself.

It pains me to say it, but the older I get, the more I seem to be aware of my own limitations and the less flattering sides of my own personality. In fact, there are parts of me that I observe in action without much pride.

Now, I don’t think AT is a panacea for a defective personality. Maybe you’ll even be lucky enough to pick up new bad habits! But it could also be an opportunity to reflect a little and practice being someone I would like to become. So, here it is, and by saying it out loud, I hope to hold myself accountable by practicing change.

mental toughness

I remember when I was about four or five years old, my dad invited my older brothers for a bike ride. It sounded very exciting since they were going to cross the intersection towards the street where we lived, towards a place forbidden for children: the main road. Very excited, I expressed my desire to join them. I had my own bike and was looking forward to an adventure.

Much to my disappointment, I was told that I was too young and that “kids who still ride bikes with auxiliary wheels are not allowed.” In retrospect, I know it was an excuse and my dad probably just wanted to spend some time with his older kids and go a little further than I was capable of. But that doesn’t work when you’re four, so he probably made up the rule. But it worked, I believed it.

Stubbornness for victory

I was crying when they left without me. But not for long. A few minutes after they disappeared on the “big road,” I stomped (or so they tell me every time my mom tells me this story) into the kitchen where my mother was watching me through the window. I sternly demanded that he remove the training wheels. She protested but apparently knew I wouldn’t let it go, because she finally agreed and took them off.

That day, while my dad and brothers were on their big adventurous trip, I got on my bike for the first time without auxiliary wheels. I drove a meter or two and then fell. I brushed the dust and gravel off my knees and hands. Then I went back up. I rode a little more. Then I fell again. I climbed a little higher and then I fell. Again and again.

When they returned, he had already found his balance on the bike. I proudly rode with them from the intersection and back to the house. Then, in the same tone I had used with my poor mother, I demanded to be taken next time.

There are ample opportunities to practice coming my way.

I can still feel that bubbling feeling of anger at being told what I couldn’t do. And the determination to prove the world wrong. And the fight he was willing to undertake (with the soil in that instance) to overcome the challenge.

Somewhere along the way, I sometimes wonder if I lost the part of me that had that power. Yes I have become soft. Or just tired or just uninspired. Lihat juga rfv14. But I want to be like I was then. The AT will definitely give me enough of a challenge to practice my mental toughness. Maybe I’ll find that part of me again.

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