How does the PCT find me?

Hello my name is Kenzie! I am 22 years old and live in beautiful Bozeman, Montana.

This summer I will be hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, which has been a dream of mine for years!

Although my backpacking trips could usually be classified as comical misadventures, there is nothing I love doing more. Whether it’s weekend trips that turn into a day hike because I just like to walk, missing a bus and ending up needing a ride, or ending up with quite a collection of cuts or bruises because I get too excited about freshwater sources. I’d say this qualifies me as ideal trash material for hikers. Well, that and the fact that my favorite hiking fuel is a whole roast chicken and a Redbull.

The only thing I love as much as a chaotic nature walk is a good book filled with long-winded descriptions and colorful characters. My current fixation is on short stories full of oddities by people like George Saunders and Karen Russell. Which is good because these days my life feels a bit like a story. Since my year has been filled with minor catastrophes and unexpected moments, blogging gives me the perfect opportunity to do some fun recaps of what I’ve gotten myself into and what I’ll be getting into.

JANUARY

I spent New Year’s in a little house in a small town in Montana. My partner and I spent the weekend exploring old cemeteries and gambling in this little bar. We hunkered down by the fireplace, talked for hours about what our year would be like, and wrote together our resolutions for 2026. The PCT wasn’t on my list at the time, nor was anything else that’s happened since that weekend.

January was a challenging month, to put it lightly. My last semester of university began. My partner and I went through a devastating loss and our relationship did not survive. Since the PCT has been a long-standing dream of mine, I decided to take advantage of the complicated tangle of finals I was handed this month to fuel my determination to make this dream a reality.

I had missed the last permit release day by a month, but decided to just look and see what dates were available on the portal. Through fate or some divine intervention, the perfect start date for me was available! I applied immediately and received the acceptance email faster than I expected. I called my family and my best friend to tell them about my plan…

My graduation is May 8th and my NOBO walk starts right after!

FEBRUARY

While the excitement of this hiking endeavor was always present in my mind, February turned out to be an even more difficult month for me mentally. The loss I experienced in January took me to the darkest place in my life. I spent most of the month in a fog of grief, feeling my way through. On February 26, I made the complicated decision to end my life. I had struggled with my mental health before, but this was the first time I couldn’t see the end of the tunnel I was in. Even though I had plans to graduate and take the PCT, I felt like my life was over.

This obviously changed everything for me and I spent 5 days in the hospital recovering from my attempt. I came away with deep gratitude for my life and even more determination to make the PCT a reality.

MARCH

So I left the job I had had for the last two years and moved back in with my parents across the country from where I had been living in Montana. The support has been incredibly helpful as I prepare physically and mentally for what’s to come.

I’ve spent the last month touring Pennsylvania and reading more of George Saunders’ stories. My body is weaker than ever and this has been the hardest year of my life. This will also be the most beautiful and transformative year of my life.

TODAY

Now that I’m back in Bozeman and incredibly close to graduating, I’m embarking on this journey with clarity and purpose. I’m not going to walk around to find out who I am after all this pain. I know I’m strong. I know I’m brave. I know that I love a lot and that people love me just as well. I’m just walking because that’s what I want to do. I want to be alive to see the sunrise and take in all the views the trail will give me. I want to feel the pain in my legs after long days of walking. I want to see the burned sections of the trail where life continues to exist even in the smallest forms.

In my second year of college, I had a professor who told me that there are books you can find just when you need them. I guess that’s how the PCT finds me. Just when I need it.

I can’t wait to take my hike, listen to as many good books as I can, and share it all here!

Happy trails!

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