Andrew Skurka on pooping in the woods

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YoIn the country, no one wants a butt that rubs, itches or smells bad. That’s why today I’m going to show you the field bidet.

He’s a role model I have with me, Sherman.

Hello, I am Andres Villanoformer hiker, guidebook author and guide. This is part of a weekly series with The Trek.

If you have questions about today’s topic, go ahead and leave a comment below. Or if you have suggestions for future topics, leave a comment too.

Why use a travel bidet?

A mountain bidet is the best way to wash your butt in the mountains. It’s clean, doesn’t smell as bad, doesn’t itch, and you’re less likely to get irritated.

I usually carry some toilet paper with me, like in a little bag, and it’s really like insurance just in case. So, for example, on a very, very cold morning, I simply cannot bear the thought of getting my hands wet. Or if there’s some kind of event where I need some kind of tissue like that, like a nosebleed.

But yeah, for the most part, I just bidet full time.

Choosing a place to poop

Whenever I need to be number two, it’s not a surprise. For me, I’m a constant morning killjoy. At most, maybe I can have breakfast and coffee before I have to leave.

Usually the night before, I’m already thinking about where I’m going to go to find a place to poop.

If you select a location intentionally, it actually takes a lot of pressure off some of the things you do with waste. And it’s a much better experience for anyone else who comes to that particular rural area after you.

So when I’m thinking about where to poop, I’m going for a little walk. I’m staying away from any kind of established camping area where someone else might want to camp, where someone else might want to take a break, even where someone else might think about pooping.

So basically I’m looking to leave all these lazy theorists behind. They are the ones who walk 10 feet from the back of the camp and relieve themselves right there.

And instead, I’ll walk down the trail for a few minutes and walk over a waist-high log, or go through some brambles or brush, just to get to an area where no one else would think of defecating in that particular spot.

I’m also looking for an area that is at least 100 feet away from water. I’m looking for an area where there’s soft soil, maybe mushy dirt, maybe decaying leaves, maybe mineral sand, but something I can get into a little bit.

Gather natural materials

On the way, while I find that place, I’ll grab some sticks. You want to take dead and fallen sticks.

You don’t want to rip sticks from live trees. Ideally, they should not have a crust. And if they have bark, just make sure it’s not the bark that flakes off easily.

You have to be a little careful with pointy things like this, but I’m not going to prick myself with these sticks. So even something like this, where you have a little bit of a sharp edge here, won’t be a problem.

In some places you might be able to find some rocks, a nice polished river rock like this one. It’s too small so I wouldn’t use this.

You might find a rock like this with sharp edges, and that’s okay. But really, the ideal rock is something like this. It’s this size. It has smooth edges.

Other things you might grab along the way: You might get to a snowfield if it’s early in the season and you can make a bunch of snowballs.

If you are in an area with a lot of leafy vegetation, you may be able to find it. One of my favorite cleaning materials is corn lily, which is found in the more riverine areas of the west.

On other sheets you can do a bit of trial and error, but other sheets don’t work as well. Like rhododendron leaves, they are too waxy. They simply don’t have enough hoarding power.

So I have natural materials with me.

What else will you need?

The other thing I brought before I even left camp is that I have a little dropper of Dr. Bronner’s hand soap and I also have hand sanitizer.

Hand sanitizer alone is not enough. That is why it is very important that you have both items with you.

A ranger, I thought, just said it very well. And he said, look, if you had somehow accidentally gotten poop all over your face, would you rather take a piece of toilet paper and try to rub it off your face and then take some hand sanitizer and just rub it on, leave that nice poop and rub it on your face, or would you go get some soap and water and rinse the poop off your face?

So when you think about it that way, you know, your butt isn’t that different from your face. It is, but I think you get the idea.

The last thing you’re going to need is your water bottle. A liter of water would be much more than you need. Personally I think the minimum will be a quarter of a liter.

And that gives good results. This is the same water bottle I use for drinking. And I know intuitively that no, that can’t be.

But when you see me do this, there is nothing; basically the poop water would have to go against gravity to get into my water bottle with the way I do this.

How to use a travel bidet: video demonstration

LINK TO VIDEO WITH SPECIFIC TIMECODE

How to use a travel bidet

Step 1: Get into position

If you’ve never used the mountain bidet before, you might consider removing your pants entirely. Once you get it right, you can simply pull your pants down to your knees.

It’s actually better to lower them to your knees, not your ankles. If they are at ankle height, they are in the fall line and are more likely to get in the way.

Squat over your hole.
Bend your hips, keep your knees up, and maintain your balance.

You should be squatting directly over a hole you have dug (with your heel, a stick, a trekking pole, or a shovel).

At this point, you are ready to begin.

Take off your pants and do a deep squat.

Step 2: Do your business

«Open the bomb bay doors» and poop in your hole.

Step 3: Use natural materials first

Before using water, do most of your cleaning with natural materials.

Take your sticks (or other materials) and spread them out to clean them.
Gently walk the area, no need to hit or think too much.

• First sticks: they will be dirty → put them in the hole
• After a few passes: there is much less waste → you can dispose of it nearby

Continue until most of the clutter is removed.

Use sticks and stones to clean up most of the mess.

Step 4: Set up clean hands versus dirty hands

Before using water, designate:

• clean hand (to handle your water bottle)
• dirty hand (to wash)

Example: right hand = clean, left hand = dirty

Loosen the cap on the water bottle slightly so you can control the flow. This creates a constant pour instead of dumping the water all at once.

Step 5: Rinse and Clean

Hold the bottle above your butt with the clean hand.

Squeeze gently to let the water flow.
with your dirty handactively step back and clean:

• grab water
• Rub and wash well

This isn’t just splashing: you’re physically cleaning.

Repeat:
Water → rub → water → rub

Use about a quarter liter of water in total.

Loosen the lid enough so you can drip water down your butt.

Step 6: Let yourself dry

At this point, you are clean, but a little wet.

Let it air dry for about 30 seconds to a minute.
A little humidity is normal, especially in dry climates, and it’s no big deal.

Get up and put your pants back on.

Step 7: Wash your hands (one-hand washing)

You still have one dirty hand and one clean hand.

Start by rinsing your dirty hand with water.
Add a few drops of Dr. Bronner’s soap (it’s concentrated; 4 to 5 drops is enough).

Wash that hand well with soap and water.

Loosen the lid just enough and use your clean hand to drip water onto your dirty hand.

Step 8: Complete hand washing (both hands)

Now go ahead and wash both hands:

• Hold the bottle between your knees.
• Loosen the cap slightly to create a controlled flow.
• Rinse both hands
• add soap
• Wash well

This creates a makeshift faucet so you can properly clean both hands.

Hold the bottle between your knees as the water drips.

Step 9: Final disinfection

Once both hands are clean and soapy, apply hand sanitizer as a final step.

This ensures that everything is completely sanitized and ready to go.

When things don’t go perfectly

Sometimes you just need to open the bomb bay doors before you’re ready.

In that case, yes, find out later.

I think you can, you know, to use it as a golf term, I think every once in a while you have a mulligan where you’re going to have to do your business and then clean up later.

I have definitely made some mistakes when pooping. I remember once trying to poop on a really steep slope and basically at one point I was like, why do I feel like I’m pooping? I didn’t give myself enough room in the back. So he just reached out and touched me.

Why toilet paper doesn’t work so well

We never get to experience in daily life how, what I like, what inferior cleaning technique toilet paper is. I think that’s a big difference.

We think toilet paper works because we shower every day or every other day. But if you don’t, as happens in the countryside, you accumulate toilet paper that sticks to you. You have some hair there. Maybe there’s some fecal matter from farting or not being super clean, some salt from just sweating.

And you end up with this kind of toxic combination. The result of this is what we call monkey butt, which is where you get that ring of bright red, irritated, irritated skin around your anus.

If you’re curious about the bidet but aren’t ready to do it all, maybe start with a water bottle adapter.

So I still do the natural materials, but maybe I will do the adapter. And that way you won’t have to make physical contact and see how it goes. And then once you’re ready to ditch the adapters, you’re at the next level.

CuloClean Ultralight Portable Bidet. Image via Owen Eigenbrot.

Final thoughts

The proof is in the pudding. I’ve probably had a full bidet and no toilet paper for six or seven years. And I have never gotten sick from contaminating or ingesting fecal matter left on my hands in any way.

If you liked today’s video, be sure to tune in for future episodes. This is a weekly series I do with The Trek.

And if you want to go on a trip where you’ll be surrounded by seven, eight, or nine other people who also use the bidet, I encourage you to consider joining us on one of our guided trips.

Don’t forget to like this video and subscribe.

Thank you.