Day 101: Arriving to my katahdin

I have waited for half a century for today. I spent most of the time thinking that I would never see the Katahdin summit. Today I saw the summit. I don’t even know how to write about it. He is victorious and devastating. It was exciting and was traumatic. I also worry about all of you who are reading this blog and have been encouraging us. Please, know that today it was not a defeat, but it was not the victory I expected. Tonight, I’m full of ambiguity about what everything means. I know it’s not uncommon, but I am very overwhelmed by the experience that I have no effect. The deep search for feelings raises nothing. I know for years of working with victims of trauma that this is common after a traumatic event. Today, fighting with winds of 60 miles per hour, I was afraid for my life. Victory Day became a day of trying to stay alive.

While I question my own judgment of the day, I have the experiences of others to verify it. The hikers who stayed in our camp tonight arrived at the sign, early in the day, but reported that he felt he was going to die. He was an experienced hiker and an experienced wall mountain climber. None of us accommodate to sleep easily. The historian’s back pain was so severe that he could barely move. He tried to support us both, but there were tears of pain in his voice.

Morning preparations

One of the objectives of letting the historian rest the last two weeks was to be ready to climb Katahdin with me. As I said: «I don’t need you for these sections, but I need you for Katahdin.»

I knew the climb included Boulder. With my recent knee surgeries, I felt that it was Prudent’s best part to have someone to help.

We have both had increasing doubts that he could climb Katahdin. His back does not stop hurting. While it is generally well walking, it’s slow. When bedtime, the muscles take hours to relax, even with medications. He tried to find a chiropractic or massage therapist that could help but could not find one.

This morning we load our packages with food, water and emergency supplies. Being caught in Katahdin is not something to take light. A father and daughter team died in June. Since 1933, 60 people They have died in the mountain. We packed warm clothes and our store store, God does not want it, that we have to stay the night.

We left later than I expected, around 7:30 am, but it was inside our window of an acceptable beginning. The light is strong until 8:30 pm and the time of early ascent for us was 10 to 13 hours. We had discussed trying to start early as we did in the Shenondoah, but decided that interrupting our dream was more an energy sink than walking later at night.

Begin

After logging in, I put with a moderate rhythm. The path was soft and easy through the forest at the beginning. Very quickly, it was clear that the historian could not do the climb. He had already given permission not to go, worried about how painful it was for him to walk. He tried faithfully.

When I felt that the distance between us was expanding, I turned around and I saw it on the path crying. I walked towards him and hugged each other, we both filled with tears. He said: «You started this trip alone, I suppose you must finish it alone.»

In silence, we separated and returned to the camp. I stood up and I saw him leave, with a broken heart that had so much pain. After it disappeared along the path, I turned and headed up. I walked about 10 more minutes and then stopped and used my Mini Inreach Garmin to send a text message to my former research partner asking him to review the historian. I knew that the historian had physical and psychological pain and my former partner, a dear friend of the two, could provide love support.

Our plan was for the historian to drive about 30 minutes from the park and wait in a restaurant where they had access to the Internet. I could send a text message to Garmin while having the Internet. Ideally, we would have had 2 satellite communicators, but we only had one. We could not communicate during the 2 hours it would take to get to the restaurant, and the time after returning to the Katahdin Stream camp.

Walk forward

Soon, our future camp passed from its beginning of Millinocket. He had previously passed to the historian and was worried about the two. He offered to reduce the speed to walk with me. I urged him to continue, knowing that it would be much slower than him. Nor was he afraid of walking alone. I would have preferred to have someone to walk through this section, but not even the cost of sanity for someone who was much faster. My approach was as it has been, to be persistent, but be attentive to the selection of my route. I felt physically strong and was well equipped.

Originally it had been predicted that the weather was excellent. For days, everyone assumed that it was going to be a perfect day. The previous day signal called the climb as a 3, which is poor. The rain had cleared, so I thought it was going well, although today it was degraded from expected 1 to a 3.

The biggest concern seemed to be wind. It was predicted that they would be 10 to 25 miles per hour. I have always lived in ventos places, so I have an excellent understanding of what that means and tolerance to walk in it. Requires skill and courage. I have both.

The weather changes

When I got into the first rocky part of the path, before the Boulder section on the gateway, the wind hit and had precipitation. The heavens were partially cloudy, with a little blue, so I watched closely when judging whether it was a passing or growing storm. Soon, white precipitation fell. I don’t know if it was Hail or graybelBut it seemed to be Graupel. Knowing that Graupel can be formed in the absence of severe climate, I forged.

The precipitation passed and the sky lit up. I was grateful for that. However, as I climbed, I could listen to the winds howling over me. They seemed stronger. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was approaching or if the storm had made them stronger.

People who passes

The people who went down began to spend. All of them were one -day hikers. A family was very well equipped and seemed experienced. They said they turned around because the winds were dangerously high for them. Soon, another partial family passed, also experienced. We talk for a while. The mother was distressed because they had left her son behind to begin her sobo. She said she was an experienced hiker in California, including senior mountains, but that she could not walk in this type of condition. The father was silent, but he wasn’t calm.

I thought for myself that it was a lot of drama for winds of 10 to 25 miles per hour.

A hiker passed, after singing to Katahdin before the storm arrived. I congratulated him hotly, but it was something boring in response. I wrote it to the usual confusion that people feel at the end of a long walk. I expressed my concern to overcome Boulder’s section and he carefully told me that he was close, so I would know it soon.

Upon reaching the entrance door

When I left the forest at the entrance door, my heart sank. The view of the rocks is intimidating. I looked directly and thought: «I can’t do that.»

Having promised me after falling into the stream at Laurel Fork that I would respect my judgment when I thought I couldn’t do something, I stopped and listened. I also carefully inspected the rocks. The climb did not seem to be direct, but it seemed that it came out laterally and then climbed. «Ok, then there is probably a route that I can find.»

I went ahead.

Fighting the wind

For months I have been afraid of not being able to make the Boulder section. Today, that paled compared to the wind. I advanced carefully, keeping balance and making sure that if the wind surprised me, it positioned me to be hit in the rock. Inch to an inch, I went up.

With such experience in the wind, I knew it was much more than 25 miles per hour. I decided that I was on the threshold of my risk tolerance. However, I did not want to fail to climb this mountain.

Sometimes I went ahead, removing my package to invent rocks. I had not expected to have to wear my backpack behind me alone, so I had not brought an additional rope to tie it. Fortunately, my package design has a roll with a very long strap. I extended it to his longer and used it to move it behind me. I kept it low in the rocks and keep myself carefully. I knew I could fly.

Arriving at my katahdin

After a couple of hours being beaten by the wind and questioning my security to continue, I was trapped. Studying the rocks forward, I thought that if I could advance and around the promontory that was, the wind could be less.

I was scared, but also proud of my efforts to get so far. My nerves were stable and my deliberate actions. It also occurred to me that even if I reached the goal of my turn, it could be flown from the mountain trying to move around the rock. In my current position, I was somewhat protected by rocks on both sides of me.

I curled up in a protected crack between two large rocks and tried to advance. I could not advance. The wind was too strong.

This was all. I had reached my katahdin. I could not go further. It was not a choice.

Returning to the camp

It took me a couple more hours back through the rocks above the line. At one point I was not sure that I could drop the path below. The wind left me the energy that left me worn and exposed. I raised my risk assessment. Not only was there being the risk of flying from the mountain, but there was a risk of making a mistake in the trial.

Walking my resolution, I carefully collected my path back below the tree line. Then it took another hour and a half to cover the last 2 miles. I alleged the camp, exhausted, 9 hours after I started.

The historian seemed as exhausted as me. Clearly his back was worse.

He was surprised to have turned around. There was not much I could say. I had few words and I didn’t take photos because I couldn’t hold a camera in the wind.

Have I finished?

I couldn’t say whether it was over or not. I had climbed to Katahdin as far as the weather allowed it, but I had not covered me on the sign with relief.

After recovering a little, I talked to the Ranger. He expressed a genuine relief that was safe. I told him that I had arrived «My jacket«And he nodded, agreeing that each person’s Katahdin summit was different. He pointed out that not all the successful walks to Katadhin were on the sign. Other rangers confirmed that. They told us that today’s winds remained at 60 miles per hour.

My permit allows me to go up again tomorrow, but climbing conditions are not expected to improve a lot. My heart is exhausted and I don’t know if I have it in me to try again. I am exhausted by the battle that was today. I will sleep and decide tomorrow if I will try again. At the bottom of me there is a nucleus that knows that I have arrived «My jacket«And that’s good.