The hard parts of hiking do not always see

With each step, my shoes crush more water. The rain pikes the heather scratches that are on my legs. I have to remove my soft wing hat every few minutes. The tactile screen on my rainy bracket does not work. He is pouring but I am too sweaty to wear my rain jacket.

There is no one in sight. Everything I can see in all directions is fog, imminent trees and wet grass. A wave of loneliness is washed on me. An intense desire for comfort accumulates within me, as a child who loves his mother. The feeling is caught in my throat. Tears pool in my eyes. There is a shelter along the way, but I know I don’t need to go there. I will be fine, I tell myself. If I can move on …

Moments like these are the dark side to the future. It does not happen all the time and there are also endless wonderful moments. But quite frequently, through hokeking you are choosing to be uncomfortable. Some days it feels like every hour, even every minute I have to choose consciously not to fall in love with temptations as comfortable shelters and warm foods in restaurants. But I know that if I want to continue advancing, I often have to avoid such comforts. It is at that time, when I feel exhausted, soaked with sweat and rain, that they break from head to toe, and completely lonely, which deeply understand how mentally challenging it is through holes.

The challenges

Sometimes it seems that a single mile is the longest walk of my life. Other times I am crazy about the mosquito groups that immerse themselves in each hole in my face. Every two days, inevitably, I breathe deep and drink an insect. I am sure that I have scared some hikers with the horrible involuntary guttural cough that follows.

I deal with pain every day. An inflamed muscle or tendon, sore hips, throbbing feet, glance heels, shoulder pain. Some days I am so tired that all I want to do is curl into a ball in the grass and fall asleep.

I, exhausted, after trying and not taking a nap next to the path

As I get tired more and more, it is more difficult to wake up in the morning. I usually consider myself an early elevator. But lately, this deep sow fatigue makes you feel painful to get out of my cozy sleeping bag.

The intense loneliness, climate and drastically changing temperatures, the malfunction of the equipment, the anxiety around strangers and deal with the logistics of regular life while trying to walk are just some of the other main challenges that I face here.

An unexpected challenge: a flying squirrel that tries to enter my backpack at night in a shelter

Adversity

Well. Most days don’t feel so difficult. Sometimes I am floating along the path, strong and full of energy. But I am focusing on the difficult things for the purpose of this article.

When I am in mid -days or difficult weeks, I use a handful of psychological tactics to pass. First, I try to remind myself that I have done many difficult things before. I overcome it, so I can move on.

Then I try to return to the core why I am here. I remind myself of my goals, and that in reality sought Experience difficult times like this. If I did not have difficult days, I would not challenge myself the same way I intended.

The end of my «four state challenges», walking in four states in one day, 44.3 miles

But why?

Why would anyone ever do it? choose be so uncomfortable? Why would he devil me through these tests and tribulations? Legitimate questions, with several answers.

When people ask me why I am doing the AT again, I usually answer: «Because I want.» Simple as that. But there is also a longer explanation.

Part of this is that the challenges I face on the way are easier to understand that most of the challenges I face in regular and non -companion life. Yo enjoy Faced with the mental difficulty of having to walk seven more miles at the end of the day despite being exhausted and my legs hurt. Yo shape He prefers to have to work in a job for two more and a half hours. Of course, work could provide me with some satisfaction and money. But when I am walking and feels difficult, at least I can be outside, breathing fresh and fresh air while the fall is washed on the east coast. I can witness that the sun becomes orange while Golden Hour covers the moss covered forest. Listen to crickets at night and bird calls all day, working on the identifications of my songs. I can use my body in a way that makes me feel strong and powerful, and I feel proud of it. And I can intimately see so many beauty pockets and uniqueness of the Mountains of the Apalaches.

Beautiful golden hour on a crest

In addition, there is something beautiful and satisfactory about perseverating at all difficult times. As I was quite young, I have always satisfied me to establish a goal and complete it. I have a competitive side, mainly against myself. I have always found courage to challenge and push myself, testing my limits and reaching new resistance limits.

Through hiking, it is also a remedy for my anxious behavior. It has always cost me still. My body wants to move. Do not be misunderstood, I love sleeping and I will occasionally surprise a television program for several hours. But if you know me, you know that I keep busy and active almost all the time. Hiking all day takes care of this; It clarifies my head and takes me out. If I get the zoomies, I’m fast. If I’m exhausted, it walks me. That is one of the beauties of being here, I have the freedom to do what I want.

I am the most true version of myself when I am through. It is difficult to explain why that is. Maybe it is that it combines so many things that I love: being outside, sleeping under the stars, fresh air, seeing so many different animals, moving my body all day, meeting people incredible of related ideas, being at the top of the mountains and walking on ridges, seeing sunrises and sunset, exploring small strange cities, eating delicious food. When people say they catch hiking error, I am there with them.

Hiking by the mountains sharpens my senses. I think of the sweet, floral smell and Colonia del Bosque. It is an exclusive smell of the Sendero of the Apalaches, the southern half in particular. That is the smell of adventure, of calm, hard work, laughing with my tramily, looking at my eyes while crossing the side of a crest. It is the smell of all wild flowers that cover the path, purple color and white yellow pink, ferns and moss that cover the forest floor, the trees that hang me as if they kept me safe. It is the smell of being almost in the camp, the crunchy air of the afternoon that settles on the earth, the day coming to an end. That smell makes my heart happy and my mind feels nostalgic.

Wild flowers on the side of the path

The range of emotions

This path takes you through all emotions, and you feel them all so deeply. I can go from boring to content to sad to energized to euphoric to content again everything in one day. In an hour!

A few weeks ago, I broke crying in front of the owner of a shelter when he told me they were full, no more beds. I knew there was a possibility that they were reserved, but I was exhausted. It had been a week since I took a shower or washed. It was a last walk that day, bustling, buggy and hunger, and I could not help breaking at the most shameful moment. But that is just part of everything. The shelter owner let me sleep on the floor. Here, an act of goodness can make a difference.

Some food from the city can change a whole day

I recognize that I come from a place of immense privilege to be able to do this and other walks. It is a privilege power choose Putting into uncomfortable positions, I do not shower for a week, live in a tent for months at the same time. I tend to feel guilty about this, especially at a time when there is so much atrocity in the world, sometimes I let the inherent selfishness of a walk despite me. I don’t know how to deal with that better in addition to recognizing it.

Overcome it

Part of the dark side to the level is just the crisis of reaching half. I have invented a term for this, when you put yourself in half and you begin to allow intrusive thoughts such as «What am I doing here?» And «What is the point of all this?» It is half of depression, and these feelings are normal. They are thoughts that can be recognized but no measures should be taken. Probably, they will go once depression ends and routine returns.

Through the Hoking is hard, and surprising, and a drag sometimes, and indescribablely satisfactorily to others. It is an emotional roller coaster and a mental game. That’s all. That’s why I love it.