Chapter 1: In which a stone arch makes a grown woman cry

I surprise myself when I wake up to the sound of my alarm, because it means I actually slept. I’ve been anticipating this day for so long that it doesn’t seem real that it’s here. It’s like I’m living in a dream. Well, maybe I really am? Today is the first day of living my dream! I’m starting my AT hike today! It feels… surreal!

I have no idea where this adventure will take me, but I prepare myself, check my backpack one last time, and leave the safety of my hotel room with an open mind and eager heart. I feel prepared for the AT. Whatever you can teach me.

Now, I wouldn’t normally suggest taking a ride with a bandit. But it turns out that Dale (Bandit’s AT Shuttles) is a wonderfully nice man. He even tolerates my overly talkative enthusiasm (I tend to use a lot of words to try to calm my nerves) as we head north from Sandy Springs to Amicalola Falls. The whole time I’m looking at everything that goes by the window, marveling at how lucky I am to be here. And before I know it, Dale pulls up in front of the Amicalola Falls Visitor Center.

Still, nothing seems quite real. I know I’m there, but I still can’t take it in. I check in at ATC and a man gives me my bag tag: hiker 259. That’s me. I look at it for a moment, trying to take it in. No, it’s not real yet.

I place the tag on my backpack, which weighs 34 pounds: it’s heavy and full of winter clothes.

«No, you are good!» Tonya says as I express my concern about the weight. She works at ATC and is a lovely lady who has walked the trail herself. «Actually, most backpacks weigh between 30 and 35 pounds in February. You’re right about the average.»

I will say that, under most circumstances, I would be disappointed to be considered «average.» But this time, it actually comforts me a little. At least I’m not the only one carrying a very large and heavy backpack up the mountain.

I get an introduction to the trail and the principles of Leave No Trace before Tonya excitedly calls out to me and the other hiker there (a girl from Switzerland):

“Are you ready to walk through the arch and take pictures?”

the arch

For me, the stone arch is the very symbol of the OT. But also a symbol of choosing a life full of adventures. Of deciding to be an adventurer instead of a dreamer.

As I walk out and see the arch, something happens inside me. I can’t name it, but it is powerful and absorbing. I approach the arch with slow and determined steps. Tonya is telling me something, but it’s like she’s talking from underwater and ten miles away. I think I might be asking a question, but I can’t say it. All I can do is look at the bow.

«It’s actually real.» I hear myself say. My voice is weak and amazed, barely a whisper. I stop dead, looking at the rounded stones that constitute the gateway to my great adventure.

«It sure is,» Tonya replies, smiling.

Then it happens. A world of emotions is released. I’m here. I feel very proud of myself for taking the step. I’m excited to see what awaits me. I’m a little afraid of bears and snakes. I sincerely hope to make some friends in the coming months. But above all I feel a deep feeling of gratitude for having come this far. I know that as I walk through that arc I am saying goodbye to a life I was only partially happy with. Now I choose to follow my dream. And hello to a new and still unknown version of myself. I am willing to accept everything that adventure can bring me.

Little by little I come back to myself. I notice the muscles in my cheeks tighten from the smile I’ve been showing. And I’m surprised to feel that they are wet when I touch them.

“I’m so sorry,” I say to Tonya when I realize I’m crying. «It’s just, well, this really is a dream come true. And, well… it marks the end of a very tough personal journey.»

“Oh no, you’re fine,” he responds, and after chatting with her, he gives me a big hug.

“You make me want to pack a bag and go hike the AT with you,” he says, before asking the question I now know he probably wanted to express earlier:

“Do you want me to take your photo as you walk through the arch?”

I hand him my phone and walk towards the arch. As I get closer, I reach out and touch the cold stone.

Yes, it’s definitely real. I keep my hand there for a moment, appreciating the solidity that confirms it; I’m actually here.

Then I turn, look at Tonya, and give her the biggest smile I can muster.

And so it begins.

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