Countdown to day 1: my mentality before each walk and how I push my nerves

For me, through the transformation and evolution of the self.

I really believe that a different person and not just a different person, a more resistant person ends every time. Once I heard that someone referred to returning to everyday life after making the rent as «… being like a bird put in a cage.» The knowledge of the bird of the vast and beautiful world outside the cage makes it more difficult every time it is forced to return. Although it is a drastic example, it is not very far from how I feel when I return to everyday life after being on a prolonged period of time. The more paths, the more paths I want to experience, and the more accustomed I put a lifestyle that is not always sustainable in my world. It doesn’t matter what, the walk has to finish and I have to return. After completing my first walk of Colorado Trail in 2018, I was not the same and my perspective of my little world was not the same either. He had changed. I took what I built inside me from the way, I returned to the cage and kept living waiting for the next time I could leave.

A week before leaving for the Colorado path, I remember that I cried a lot. It was as if it were in a state of mourning or duel. He knew he had emotional luggage to work and face him in front when he was on his way. I could feel that a piece of me was going to die there. That was not a bad thing. It was going to be a growth. I was mourning the person who was before leaving because when I returned he was going to be a totally different person. The path can not only be a physically painful place, but also a place of emotional agitation.

The reality is that being uncomfortable on the way makes me more comfortable in my skin in everyday life.

The stories that I tell myself

«I know that I just trained hard for months, but I’m so out of place»

The stories that I tell me how the top line are blatantly false and do not make sense most of the time. If I heard them out of another person’s mouth, I would probably laugh at how ridiculous they sound. The greatest culprit of my anxiety before any trip is doubt. The common questions with which I bothers me include:

• «I trained hard enough?»
• «Did I train enough time?»
• «Should I have made more spikes or longer races?»
• «Am I fit enough?»
• «How do I compare myself with myself 10 years ago?»

This Mental Mountain always leads to the same place: «Am I adequate?» Or «am I good enough?» In my case, addressing the mental game is much more difficult than the physicist. These thoughts can become a broken record already measured my start date, the voices become stronger.

Pushing through the nerves

I have had to build a routine before each walk to calm the mental talk and remember that I am not only good enough, but I am ready for what will come. These are the main strategies I use to calm and walk:

• Reflect on my dedicated effort and the achievements of my training season

As stated above, my mind invents stories about me … stories that most of the time are not true. To fight this, I take the time to reflect on my dedicated effort that I have put in my training during the previous months. I think of the days with little dream, the meetings that I lost, as well as the huge milestones I hit. I accept that I am as ready as I will be. The goal is to build me when my whole mind wants to do is break down.

• Inspir yourself following others walking along the same path

Are we not all admiring someone who is admiring someone who is admiring another person? There is much to learn from others and nothing develops my confidence more than seeing hikers face their fears, challenge themselves and embrace their freedom along the way. That is why our stories are so important. Blogs definitely made me feel vulnerable to the beginning because I thought I had nothing useful to share with others, but that is far from the truth. I know this because I immerse myself in the adventures of other people feed mine.

• Establish an intention for the walk

Establishing an intention forces me to ask me … «What is really important for me?» And «What do I want to let go?» I take time and reflect on my current situation. What are my strengths at this time? What am I fighting with? What do I need to work? Am I open to growth? What is my general purpose and why am I walking on this path? I try to approach each trip as an opportunity for their own growth. For this walk, I intend to be present and leave aside the anxious emotions that do not serve me.

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