Day 60: Knapsack Col Alternate (I was scared)

Beaker and I opened our eyes around 5:30 am, unusually ready to take the morning. Knapassack Col called and wanted so much time to cross the possible beak, while I got into Pinedale. I knew it was ambitious.

We wandered through rivers of water that flowed without clear direction, glacial fusion that covered whatever it pleased every season, without order or rhythm. The yellow and red flowers in the garbage of the valley, the fresh and promising morning.

When we arrived at the rock basin, I felt relieved to have a glass by my side. There is no established trace, so we started climbing in the General Directorate of Ridgeline, jumping from Boulder to Boulder. I would try my weight, to often have to redirect to rocks that would not change below me.

My Achilles tendinitis exploded badly, worse in the morning before heating. Jumping from rock to Roca felt unbearable in the painful tight tendon.

After what seemed a few hours, we reached the top of our ascent. The miles were slow. Beaker followed his own path, 0.5 From the upper part of the Collgra Backpack by zero and the earth I am not sure he wanted to cross.

It felt easy and automatic to follow Beaker, but if I was honest with myself, I saw another route that I felt safer and more feasible despite requiring some climbing. I preferred rocks that my shoes could grab, too loose and steep, slid under me like a conveyor belt.

I shouted at the beaker and started, clinging to the sides of the rocks, delivering the foot.

I felt completely alone on this face of rock, knowing completely well that I had gotten into this situation and was the only person who could get me out of her.

I felt scared. I let my fear sit next to me, it is useless to fight him. But along with my fear came a trust in my own skills.

It’s okay to be scared I told myself again and again, feeling better the higher I got.

I walk enough frequently that reaching the peaks does not feel as monumental as it used to do it, but this peak felt different. When I arrived at the summit I felt that I had achieved something, that I had pushed my fear and took care of myself in a potentially dangerous situation. I felt proud. I started my shoe and the Achilles listened to the glacier that sat next to me.

… and then I had to go down the other side.

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