From south to north: the walk

Flight to Auckland

On the plane from Christchurch to Auckland. I moved excitedly toward the empty rear window seats. Once I sat and looked out the window, as the plains turned into mountains, I was moved to tears. Changes in landscape and changes in life: gradual and then all at once.

Doing something like this doesn’t necessarily scare me, but it makes me wonder: what am I really longing for? I think it’s the feeling of independence and being so completely and absolutely sure that I can do it. I can do it alone. I can make him scared. I can make you tired and weak. But I will NOT make it cold.

I think I also long for the challenge, the unknown of the path traveled. The trail is there to follow, it just depends on how you want to perceive it. It is not lost on me that the days will be challenging and I will inevitably wonder why I am walking again, when there are so many other things I could do in this world. Literally Sigrid, what the fuck?!?

But I encourage myself to reflect on this moment and remind myself to see it as a privileged opportunity to explore New Zealand, a land that has everything I want in life. The only caveat to this country is the time difference and the distance from everyone I know and love (and a teacher’s salary…).

I’m willing to take this for what it is, an opportunity to explore both the mind and the country. The best is yet to come.

I’m not crying. You are crying.

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