Learn to do it alone

I feel like everyone who decides to go on a decent-sized hike envisions an organized and coherent planning session, right?

Or maybe it’s just me.

I always have this idea in my head that I’m going to sit down with my laptop, research the trail, take my notes, have a sip of coffee and from there… I’ll take inventory right away, right? Because I have to make a shopping list for anything I need to replace or restock. And of course, the sooner you order, the better, right? You have to make sure it is delivered on time. If something is too late, the whole trip becomes *poof*!

A day for preparation. Then everything arrives in the mail and you take an extra day to pack. That’s all. Easy.

Desire.

My preparation for the Foothills Trail has been chaotic and disorganized, and in some ways exhilarating.

I currently have several stacks of gear in various rooms that I “absolutely cannot live without.” I had at least three shopping carts loaded with a ton of stuff; Fortunately, I have convinced myself of most of it.

And in addition to logistical planning, there is also the emotional component.

When I said «I want to be more independent» and have «time to connect with myself» and the «great experience of traveling alone,» I didn’t expect to be 900 miles from the only person I’ve ever gone on a trip with. I also didn’t consider the fact that in the three years I backpacked with said person, I never managed to hang the bear bag.

I have idealized the idea of ​​hiking alone because I have been lucky enough to always have my husband with me. When I realized that my partner and bear bag expert would be AWOL, I realized a few things:

I’m going to have to motivate myself

Liam was my biggest source of encouragement last year when we did our TNP SOBO hike. I finished that trip 138 miles stronger, equipped with the most LOVELY smell, scratches everywhere, and a horrible allergic reaction to the duct tape eating away at my feet. As I reflected on the ride home, I told him, «I don’t think I would have been able to finish if it weren’t for you.»

He, of course, insisted that he would have done so. But having someone to laugh with along the way, to take your mind off the aches and pains, and someone to let you know that you can do it, is so valuable, and I’ve quickly realized how important that has been for me.

I am the only one responsible for myself.

Captain obvious, right?

Throughout my hiking career, I have always had the safety net of «if I forget something, I have a buddy to back me up.» Well, not anymore. Now, if I forget something, I better be able to live without it.

I’m going to have to get really comfortable with silence.

I’ve never cared about silence before when backpacking. In fact, Liam and I often spent long periods with headphones on, not saying a word, but that was optional. I have the feeling that this time the silence will be stronger. I wonder if I will enjoy the “peace and quiet” or if it will make me appreciate the time I spend with people more.

And perhaps the most obvious: I’ll have to hang up my own bag of bears.

Excuse me while I spend the next few weeks in my backyard swinging the rope.

As I said, the planning has been chaotic. But I’ve also been REALLY enjoying it.

This is the first time I’ve planned a trip completely alone. At first, it was extremely overwhelming. The fact that I couldn’t prepare everything in one gentle, relaxing, lo-fi-inspired session really stressed me out. But then I took a breath and considered…

What do I need to plan? Finally, the tabs formed on my OneNote.

• the route
• the ferry
• The previous camping
• my food
• my team
• my list of needs

Once the list was made, I organized it based on what was most urgent. Once I booked camp for the night before my start date and organized my transportation, I felt 50% lighter.

Then came the route. I sat down on a Saturday morning, watched several videos about the trail, and managed to come up with a pretty solid plan. I even managed to make some notes of places I DON’T want to miss!

After doing a rough inventory, I made sure that everything that needed to be restocked was in full availability. To check my gear again, I’ve planned a short overnight trip to give myself some peace of mind.

Here are some things I’ve learned from the planning process so far:

1. It’s okay and completely normal to feel overwhelmed at first.
2. Embrace the chaos. Try to find the excitement in what you are doing, even if you think it is small! Not everyone gets to experience this; Don’t forget to appreciate it.
3. Okay, I know I just said to embrace chaos, but also to make lists. Accept the process, but also make sure you cover all your bases.
4. You’ll go from being completely excited to being absolutely terrified. Hold on.
5. If there is a part of the planning that is particularly overwhelming, find someone to talk about it with. Friends and family can offer support, but the hiking community is also an incredible resource. Everyone wants to see you succeed. Lean on the people around you, literally and virtually.

I’m sure I’ll learn a lot more in the coming weeks. To be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever stop learning. That’s what makes life so fun! Learning, growing and experiencing new and beautiful things. I am very happy to be able to share it with you.

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