Pre-Tour Pep Talk: The Trek

given lists,

Hiking the Appalachian Trail is the hardest thing you’ll ever try. But here’s the thing: you’re BAD. With very thick and capable legs. So what is it about you’ve never backpacked before? That they can consider you clumsy? You dehydrated A LOT of beans, went to the gym, quit your job, packed your bags. All you have to do is walk.

Why Oh Why (from an imperfect and slightly delusional person)

• Hiking The Trail has been on my mind (and heart) for several years. It’s the closest thing to a calling I’ve ever experienced.






• In some book or podcast I heard how long-distance walks allow each thought to be a stone that is turned over and over until it softens and becomes smaller. I want to soften my sharp edges.






• Big goals allow me to direct my energy and stay motivated. I became restless after I was accepted into graduate school. Small goals didn’t give me the dopamine hit I was looking for.






• There is a lot to do after graduate school; other objectives will become priority. There is no perfect time, but now is the perfect time.






• Be different (better?). An important goal is to become the type of person who is capable of achieving the goal. During the preparation I have already learned a lot. Personal strengths and flaws have been exposed. Stepping on the path will change me.
• I have to try it. That’s the point. Of life. Believe.






• In the words of Olympic athlete Alyssa Liu: «I like suffering; it makes me feel alive.»

The trail will…

• New stimulation!
• Many new skills.






• Physical strength and endurance that I have not yet experienced.






• Confidence and courage. Starting graduate school in the fall will seem like a piece of cake.






• Stories to break the ice and parties.






• A feeling of superiority. Good. More likely humility.






• An opportunity to make a *~dream come true.~*

The trail leads…

• Go to work. When else in your life will you have 5 months to do whatever you want?!?






• Lying on my deathbed wondering why I hadn’t been brave enough to do the things I wanted to do.






• Comfort. To be able to appreciate it later.






• Time with friends, family and my dog. Sacrifices will be made. I acknowledge the difficult parts of leaving so I can process those realities and feelings.

If I give up…

• I’ll have to tell all my friends and family and I don’t want to explain myself.
• The malicious whisper in my brain that says bad things about me wins.
• I’ll have to go back to work for a while.
• I’ll have to create a new identity narrative and I’d like to stick to this one where I’m cool for doing all this hiking.

A question for the audience:

Please comment on this post with your suggestions for what’s next, so my brain doesn’t turn into a pile of mush/I think about something other than my back pain.

• Albums to listen to completely
• Audiobooks
• Podcasts

In summary

Listen Gab, we talked about this. I understood you. You have a community of friends and family who have already supported you a lot. You love eating peanut butter and canned tuna (not together…yet). You walk a lot in everyday life, so you’ve been practicing for some time now. You have a considerable amount of hutzpah. In fact, you have already done several difficult things in your life.

I love you! Enjoy!

xoxo

GRAM

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