Should I stay? Or should I go now?

Sorry for crashing! But I belong to several hiking groups on social media and invariably someone declares that they are on X hiking trail and are looking for a partner. For some reason they don’t want to do it alone?

I know your request is not for someone’s opinion but rather for a fellow hiker! But overall, they get pretty good advice on how to partner. I guess a deeper dive might reveal that they’re just pretending they want to walk, but they’re actually hoping no one responds so they have an excuse.

Many well-intentioned people can convince themselves of almost anything! If this is not the case, the opinions requested might make sense!

My answer reflects how I’ve always felt about backpacking! If I want to do something, I do it! I don’t wait for anyone! Yes, I have walked with friends; most of the time they have been shorter walks. I know the person, their pace, their mileage tendency and their days off! So, in that sense, our general compatibility!

I generally recommend that the best way to partner is to simply go hiking. An association must be organic in the way it is formed! You met someone, you get along great, you share the same pace, mileage goals, and schedule for taking breaks or days off! You learn that you are both compatible and that all is well with the hiking gods!

On my last hike on the CDT, I hiked Glacier with a friend I met on the PCT. Ironically, we met there but never walked together. We stayed in touch over the last few years. When I got an early lottery permit, he stepped in and we set our itinerary. We are both experienced hikers and only commit to hiking the Glacier together. Although we had slightly different paces, we shared mileage goals and felt the same about taking days off as well. We ended up walking to Rawlins, Wyoming, where he completed his hike. We ended up taking only three days off in total. It worked out great, although Just Mike laughs when I call a fifteen mile day nero, that’s the only thing we disagree on!

My next leg along the trail would complete my turnaround from Pagosa Pass. Vibrating for a different ending, I would strike out alone, finish Wyoming, and hike all over Colorado alone without a day off. that’s exactly what I did, I had company on the Colorado Trail section that runs concurrently with the CDT, but I only shared one campsite! When it became just the CDT I went almost five days without seeing another hiker and I loved that too!

In New Mexico in the spring, I hiked alone to Silver City, but I deliberately sought out a hiking buddy for the Gila River! In fact, I found two and would recommend that having a Gila friend is the smart and safest way to do it, especially in the spring where the river runs strong, cold and deep!

Partnerships can be amazing, and luckily I’ve never had a bad one. Just have the mindset of flexibility and discuss your wishes from the beginning. The dynamic of an association or even a larger group or tram is that your walk is no longer yours. It will be necessary to share commitments and decisions. It’s okay if you understand! On the AT I had a seven-person tram! I love and respect each person very much. As I write this, it’s been seven years since then! Every week I communicate with at least one of them and we often message each other for days! We had meetings, walked the Foothills and Benton MacKaye together in sections!

Partnerships are what you make it! Clear and concise expectations need to be communicated and understood to make it work. The hardest part is always if someone is injured or needs to return home due to circumstances beyond their control. Even that needs to be discussed: will you wait or continue? Have a plan! I’ve had friends wait for someone to come back who never did, that’s hard, it really breaks my heart.

I had two Tramily members on AT get giardia, we slowed down hoping they could catch up but we had committed to a summit date where our friends and family would connect with us and walk Kathadin. They were all from out of town.

We last saw our dear friends at Shaw’s in Monson, Maine. They ended up together but the fact that we broke up was bittersweet! Luckily it hasn’t had any overall effect on our bond and friendship!

For some reason, in hiking the west, most, if not all, of my hiking groups have been mostly someone else. Peripherally there are one or two other people, but consistently only two people? Let me know your thoughts because I’m curious as to why this seems to be the case.

Happy trails!

Cat

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