When the «Why?» It’s too personal to share.

Once I announced my intentions to hike the Appalachian Trail, the number one question I was asked was “Why?” My answers ranged from “It’s something I have to do that I can’t explain,” to “It’s a lifelong goal that I have to complete.” Another more accurate answer would include something about enjoying nature and a long walk with God. If I wanted to express something closer to the truth, I would discuss the need to step away and let go of responsibilities. And while this is all true, the initial impulses to choose a direct hike came from a deeper, darker place. A place that must remain private and mine.

Nostalgia

Looking at my life from the outside, one would see life bright. A lovely home, a close-knit family, capable and prosperous children, grandchildren who love me deeply, and a husband who supports me and my hiking goals. However, I imagine that most of us humans carry a private pain or problem that we only share with a trusted friend or counselor. I’m not different.

Nostalgia and assurances

Although my life is full of joy and overflowing with blessings, there has always been a tinge of helplessness creeping in the margins of my mind. I have often attributed it to a sense of nostalgia, knowing that this Earth is not my forever home. It is a longing for Heaven and an eternity with Christ, my Savior. Lihat juga ihfs. That confidence encourages me both for this trip along the Appalachian Trail and for the broader journey of life.

Another thing

However, nostalgia and trepidation are not the only factors contributing to my desire to hike the AT. A walk of this nature and duration legitimizes feelings of escapism. If the need to escape is so pressing and desired, a hike on the Appalachian Trail is an attractive and socially accepted way to satisfy that need. It’s a separation from everyday life that people won’t question too much. And even if my motives come from a place of heaviness, others may see my goal as admirable and something worth celebrating. If they knew my true reasons, their astonishment might be tarnished. They might even feel sorry for me and I certainly don’t want sympathy.

Cicatrization

What I do want is to experience a different life than the last sixty years running on the hamster wheel. I want to leave behind responsibility and worldliness and especially my grievances. I hope that with each step I move further away from the pain and closer to the light. I believe that the Camino can serve as a catalyst for healing broken places. I hope to meet other people who carry similar burdens. Perhaps, in those shared moments, there can be connection, understanding, and even healing, together.

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