The Forced Double Zero – The Trek

After a week of intense pain and inner turmoil walking through the snow at The San Juan’s, we were grateful for every mile of snow-free trail. Luckily for us, there was a lot. Most of the trail after Lake City is completely free of snow. Still, Colorado is a tough state. There are many ascents and descents of mountains, over high passes. There are large amounts of wind and dry air that affect your psyche, your respiratory tract and your skin. You’re also at high altitude almost constantly, so your body is more exhausted all around.

Hornet and I were very excited to arrive in Leadville. It has been one of our favorite cities in Colorado since we lived in Denver in 2021-2022. Salida was also one of our favorites, and staying at The Butterfly House was everything we remembered from being there four years ago. Leaving Salida wasn’t easy, but we were happy to find out that we were about four or five days away from Twin Lakes. We would grab a quick snack at Twin Lakes for just a couple of hours before arriving in Leadville in just two days. Unfortunately, I took more than a Twin Lakes refill. I ended up walking away with some sort of illness or bug. We left town at noon, it was hot and sometimes steep, but nothing like the day before. Before we got to Twin Lakes, we did a 24 mile day which, in Colorado, is a lot! Not only that, but we also passed Lake Ann Pass and Hope Pass on the same day. I figured my body was a little wrecked from that. I felt more fatigued than normal. At one point I had cold sweats. I had to step aside so Arson could surround me. “It’s like I’m withdrawing from something but I don’t know what.” I took a minute to catch my breath but the show must go on. In an audio message to my best friend, I mentioned «my tummy hurts, I have a shooting pain in my left breast and I’m glad I don’t have service here or I’d probably be googling all the ways I could be dying.»

Luckily I wasn’t dying and I managed to get to camp. I just felt bad in general and nausea started to set in. After setting up the tent with Hornet, I went inside and bundled up to relax a bit. Fortunately, but also unfortunately, Chef Boyardee met us at camp with a friend to provide us with magic on the trail! “Why do we receive magic traces on the day I feel the sickest?” Still, the magic was there and it was a morale boost to just hang out. After about an hour I thought I should at least try to eat something. I ate a slice of pizza (great trail magic) but couldn’t finish it, so I quietly handed it to Hornet. Within 10 minutes, I thought nausea might become a reality. I went as far away from the camp and into the woods as I could and it hit me and I threw up. Hornet and I buried the evidence as much as we could. Everyone heard and most saw, shameful. I brushed my teeth and sanitized my hands and then entered my tent. I didn’t sleep well that night. We still had 18 miles to town.

The morning wasn’t much better when I discovered that Arson couldn’t sleep well either because his stomach hurt too. We half-laughed as we declared it would be an interesting hike. Was. We were fighting a lot. Every time I went up a hill I felt terrible. I had heartburn, I was belching, I didn’t feel like eating anything. My body felt so weak. Not having anything in my stomach from last night and not being able to eat anything during the day was terrible. There was no fuel my body could draw from. From the looks of Arson, we were both dead women walking. We tried to take breaks but realized it would be a worse day at 1.5 miles per hour, hitting the road at 6:00 pm sounded terrible. We tried to push as much as our bodies could.

Hornet and Zinger made our impossible situation possible. They stayed with us, tried to make us laugh, offered to take the weight off our shoulders. Hornet took my bag of food and my bag of ditties. Then my micro spikes and my water filtration supplies. I was probably carrying 6 pounds of my stuff. Finally the kilometers were more behind us than in front of us. With many hours and a lot of patience we achieved it! We reached the road at 3:00 p.m. This was the first time I got sick on the road, I always feared the day it would come. I felt better as the hours passed after noon. Still, I wasn’t 100% and was excited for a bed and nutritious drinks like ginger tea and Gatorade.

We hitchhiked into town and a lovely woman picked us up. I sanitized my hands before getting into his car. Luckily I didn’t have a cough or runny nose or anything, it was some kind of stomach virus. We arrived at the Hostel where we all showered and washed our toxic clothes, it had been seven days since our last shower. Arson slept for hours after arriving. I bought takeout and ate alone at the table until Hornet arrived with his “Crocodile Pizza” from High Mountain Pies and we finished eating together.

The next day was our zero, which was nice. I felt much better, as did Arson. We were back! Still, I wanted a quiet, slow zero, so I hung out with Hornet most of the day. At the end of the night, we were all sad because zero was over. My feet were very dry and sore and so were many other parts of my body. My lower back was tight and my stomach was bubbling, probably from eating city food after a stomach bug. My belly didn’t know what to do with it. Because of that I didn’t sleep well. Unfortunately, before going to bed, Hornet felt nauseous. I was hoping it was just the pizza we had for dinner, but it wasn’t. In the middle of the night he woke up and vomited. Oh no. I knew we probably wouldn’t be able to hike the next morning.

In the morning, the other two went out on a hike and Hornet and I stayed behind. It was a forced double zero. I was so tired after only having five hours of sleep and my belly was still bubbling, so I wasn’t terribly dissatisfied. I took a borrowed bicycle to the supermarket and bought all the arrangements for the sick. I told Hornet’s parents that it was our bodies telling us to take another day off. Although we needed it, it seemed wrong to us. Our friends were now ahead. We thought about the difficult task of catching them and reaching the place where we were supposed to be, in general. The sun was streaming through our window and making me feel bad. My whole being was telling me, «You should go hiking! You’re falling behind! You’re a loser!» Of course, we know that’s not true, but that’s the terrible reality for most hikers. We don’t feel like we can relax and take too much time off. We thought about the far north and how it could snow and “you shall not pass” so that we would never complete our dreams.

As I walked to the kitchen to get more chicken soup and ginger ale, I ran into a group of wild hikers. We hikers have an unmistakable way of being. Brightly colored clothing, facial hair, and leg hair on both men and women. The eyes that say “I’ve seen shit and I’m doing this to myself on purpose.” They stopped me to chat and introduce themselves. It was great to meet more people, but honestly, it made me feel worse about our situation. “The bubble behind us has caught us!” I couldn’t help but feel slow and inadequate. I hated the pressure I felt, the comparisons I made between myself and the people around me, and I especially hated my stomach for bubbling like it had a say in the matter.

Hornet didn’t leave the room once, but I told him about each hiker and their brief history. The hikers are the vine. We constantly tell each other stories and share information about who is behind us, who is in front of us, and what each hiker who passes by is about. “This guy went up with so-and-so on the PCT and that woman is also trying for her triple crown.” I used my time to do some yoga, check social media enough to make up for the last two weeks, and call my mom.

Try not to be stupid like me. Focus only on yourself and your goals. Just do what you can and listen to your body when it speaks to you. As long as you stay structured and motivated, you will finish the journey, injuries permitting. The most important thing is that you don’t forget to call your mom.

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