Hikers You Meet at Hostels: Breakfast Club Edition

I have already covered 1500 miles, or 2/3, of the Appalachian Trail. This year I had to spend 4 days in a hostel while recovering from a knee injury. I began to notice some patterns in personalities and thought about them as I continued my walk. Are they stereotypes? Probably, but you know what they say about stereotypes… Using the iconic ’80s movie «The Breakfast Club,» I’ve compiled an all-star cast of Hikers in Hostels. Below I list the role and the actor who played it. GenZ, if you’ve never seen “The Breakfast Club,” watch it. Warning: There is at least one scene in every John Hughes film that hasn’t aged well, but call your parents later and they’ll convince you.

THE PRINCESS (Molly Ringwald)

Often a young boomer couple or a couple of friends. The Princess is slackpacking or platinum paving the way. They sleep in a bed every night, wake up with a coffee, and their backpacks are very light. Life is good! It’s easy to spot because they’re not rummaging through the hiker’s box for forgotten snacks or a washing syringe. The men are clean shaven, the women wear jewelry and look like they just stepped out of an Orvis catalog. In short, they look and smell good. The Princess is not frantically doing hiker duties while at the lodge. In fact, her morning shuttle doesn’t leave until 9am, so the Princess will say goodbye the night before and head to her private room for the night.

Coming out of the water gap

THE NERD (Anthony Michael Hall)

The Nerd is a gram/gear whistle, whether ultralight or ultralight curious. Eager to talk about the denier, silpoly vs Dyneema and why they cut the hip belts. The Nerd is silently judging other hikers’ gear, and it hurts them (HURTS!) to see such difficult choices. They’ll ask you about your base weight and be disappointed when you admit you don’t know. Prone to offering indirect praise about your team. Examples from this year: «Oh wow, the Durston X-Dome. Nice tent! So you’re okay with the weight penalty of a freestanding tent?» «I like your Triple Crown shirt! My wife says it doesn’t ventilate well.» If you meet the Nerd, you’ll know in 90 seconds: the team will be one of the few things they’ll talk about and can have opinions on. «Trekking poles are a marketing gimmick. So are bear cans.» «I can reduce your base weight to 8 pounds.» “Every day is a day to pack your bags!” «Your body gets used to it.» The Nerd won’t be happy until one day he’s walking around with a handkerchief tied to a stick and curled up under a rhododendron leaf at night.

Indie fans, unite!

THE SPORTSMAN (Emilio Estevez)

Exude energy of the main character in the hostel. Look, this kid was big in high school. (He was definitely a towel snapper in the locker room and his classmates have doubts about his attendance at every meeting.) This experienced hiker (often an older man) will ask you a question about your hike, but proceed with caution; Your question is simply a pretext to talk about his hike. If he finds out that you’re putting in more miles or walking faster, you’ll see a flash of irritation cross his face, but don’t worry. The athlete will recover quickly when doing other walks they have done. Have you done the JMT? No? Well, you’re missing out. Also, you really need to hike Coyote Gulch. Haven’t you done the _________________ tour yet? Well, he has, and he’s here to recite his Tales of Valor all night long. If another hiker enters the conversational orbit, this is your chance to walk away. He won’t notice.

Why I Loved Southern Pennsylvania

THE BASKET CASE (Ally Sheedy)

He’s not so much a basket case as a staunch introvert. They came to the forest in search of solitude and staying in a shelter can be difficult for them. The chatter, the pack explosions, the constant coming and going of hikers… It’s just too much. They only stay in a shelter when absolutely necessary: ​​laundry, loading, and resupplying are at a critical point. The Basket Case will politely answer your conversation questions, but they will not give you the ball back. They are often found in their bunk, moving around with headphones on. Or fast asleep at 7:00 p.m.

THE REBEL (Judd Nelson)

There are two types of rebels in shelters: the brooding rebel and the happy rebel. The brooding rebel is climbing the AT as a result of a seismic shift: a relationship imploded, a job lost or quit in anger, etc. They are on their way to resolving some things, mainly the simmering resentment towards the person whose fault it is that they are now in the way. He is often found sitting alone, looking into the distance from the hostel’s backyard. Give them space. Happy Rebel isn’t even sure how they ended up on the AT. They think his cousin’s girlfriend mentioned it while on vacation, but the details of the Cousin Walk are hazy. The Happy Rebel arrived with a half-pack of Marlboro Lights and some camping gear. The total pack weight is 52 pounds, but this hiker is basically a personality hire, and with his charm and optimistic attitude, they’ll somehow get better gear from friendly people along the way. You labeled them DNF within minutes of meeting, but guess what? On October 8, you’ll see a photo of the Happy Rebel atop Katahdin, grinning wildly atop the sign, a coffee-flavored Zyn protruding from its gums. They did it!

THE CUSTODIAN (John Kapelos)

The Breakfast Club’s janitor was unfazed and wore a bewildered expression throughout the film. The Custodian is the owner/employee of the shelter. Part innkeeper, part life coach, they’ve seen it all. The custodian helps with everything AT related: lodging, laundry, transportation, luggage, equipment repair, injury advice, trail advice, life advice, etc. They deal with every personality imaginable and have stories you wouldn’t believe.

THE DEPUTY PRINCIPAL (Paul Gleason)

Do you remember what @$$ hole this guy was? His disdain for the students was palpable throughout the film. He exuded hostility. The vice principal is the keyboard warrior, sitting at home, writing unhelpful or unpleasant comments on AT forums. On the trail, if you need help of any kind, there are fellow hikers and trail angels who will do everything they can to help you. No matter how well or poorly your hike goes, other hikers will cheer you on. The trail is a tremendously supportive community! Unfortunately, online TA platforms are often the complete opposite. No matter how harmless the question or how insipid the post, someone is waiting, just waiting, to write something bad. I and other hikers have talked about this a lot and can’t figure it out. Are keyboard warriors former hikers who are jealous of not being in the way, so they need to ruin everyone else’s parade? Are they “never hikers” who don’t even walk to their mailbox? Why would someone take time out of what is (hopefully) an interesting day to write something degrading? Example: I wrote a post that mentioned getting norovirus and one of the comments (from a grandmother who didn’t have anything hiking-related in her social media history) was «Woe is me» with an eye-roll emoji. What would prompt someone who doesn’t seem to hike or do outdoor activities to comment on this? I can’t believe I have to give adults the same advice I used to give my high school students, but if you can’t be nice, STAY ON THE STREET.

Falls Village, CT Mile 1500

This website contains affiliate links, which means The Trek may receive a percentage of any products or services you purchase using links in articles or advertisements. The buyer pays the same price they would otherwise pay, and their purchase helps support The Trek’s ongoing goal of bringing you quality backpacking information and advice. Thank you for your support!

For more information, visit the About page of this site.