Treatment to the End: My Recovery Journey (One Step at a Time)

“And so hitting rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”

– J.K. Rowling

A year ago, I could barely imagine being alive another day.

Today I took my first steps on the Pacific Crest Trail.

The weight of my addiction, the pain and everything I carried inside had emptied me in ways I didn’t know how to explain. My world had become painfully small. Every day seemed like something to survive rather than something to live. The future was something I couldn’t imagine, much less plan for.

For the past ten months, I have been in inpatient treatment and rehab, struggling to stay sober. Learn to endure pain instead of running away from it. Learning to regulate emotions that often seemed bigger than me. Slowly, carefully, I have been rebuilding a life that I really want to be here for.

The recovery did not happen suddenly. It happened through months of an honest conversation, a difficult morning, an uncomfortable truth, a decision to try again even when it meant kicking and screaming.

Somewhere along the way, all those “some more” turned into a real, raw recovery.

Today, I packed up my small room at a sober living house and began my journey to Southern Terminus.

The Pacific Crest Trail has always seemed sacred to me. Long before I believed I could get here, I believed in what this path represented: resistance, dedication, humility, presence and hope. When I began to think about what would come next in my recovery, I found myself on this path again. It felt less like a decision and more like a calling. As if something bigger than me was gently guiding me here.

Because I believe there is something deeply healing about walking forward with intention.

About carrying only what is necessary.

About learning what can be left behind.

To trust yourself again, kilometer by kilometer.

Sobriety and hiking already feel eerily similar. You can’t do either at the same time. You can’t think your way to the finish line. You cannot jump to the part where you have arrived. You can only take the next step in front of you.

Then the next one.

Then another.

That’s how I got sober.

And this is how I will walk this path.

One step at a time.

One day at a time.

With enormous gratitude in my heart, for the recovery, for this path, for every person who helped me get here and for the fact that I chose to stay long enough to live the life I once only dreamed of.

Stay tuned. 🤘🏻🥾

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